Exclusive: Find a Family Member with a Private Investigator in NZ
August 31, 2020 | Other
What is Estrangement?
Every year we get a step closer towards speaking up about personal struggles. However, the topic of family estrangement is one that remains to be normalised.
To introduce the concept, family estrangement is the loss of a relationship that once existed between family members. It happens often. Many of your friends have likely experienced it.
Now, though estrangement may sound permanent, it’s important to learn that it has no set length of validity. Two people may experience it as eternal separation but it also could last the length of a year of separation. Estrangement is not defined by length.
Where there is a loss of connection can also be different for all. One person might deliberately and loudly remove themselves entirely from the other’s life. Whereas, in another family, a relationship might fall apart without mention at all.
Why It Happens
The causes of family estrangement will generally fall into at least one of four categories; emotional abuse, neglect, clashing values, or un-met expectations of family roles.
But much like the concept itself, it’s causes are generally a mixed bag. It’s typical to see estrangement develop due to several issues within most of the categories.
An interesting note: most estrangement cases today are initiated by the adult children - not the elder in the relationship.
Is Reconciliation Possible?
In short, yes. If estrangement is not defined by its length of duration, there is a breath of hope for future reconciliation. But that’s not saying it would be easy. You can’t sit two estranged family members before a mediator, expect them to make up, and then begin on Christmas dinner plans for the year. It’s not that simple.
Where reconciliation is possible, it needs to be wanted (or at least accepted) from both sides. Which is where family estrangement can become considerably hurtful. Should one person be ready and the other not, the loss might feel all too close to actual death.
So yes, it’s possible. But it takes time and no amount of time is guaranteed before a chance might come to reconcile. Should you be hopeful? Try to imagine how you would feel if reconnection were to never happen - then ask yourself again.
Ways to Locate an Estranged Family Member
Whether you’re directly involved in the estranged relationship or not, locating an estranged family member is no easy feat and the reasoning couldn’t be clearer... If someone wants to disappear from your life, they’ll make sure it happens.
Step One: Reach out to Mutual Connections
As a first measure, make the effort to reach out to the mutual connections you have. These could be friends, romantic partners, colleagues, teachers, or even family members that may be hiding a relationship with the estranged.
Step Two: Use Social Media
Technology is the most powerful tool for tracking. With the right skill set, knowledge, and tools, you can find almost anyone.
Social media makes one of those ultimate tools for tracking. It allows you to see where a person is located and at what time. But beyond what evidence you gain from the person posting, you can also gain information via those they interact with.
You could, for example, keep tabs on what their close friends are doing on Instagram with the hope of catching the estranged family member in a social post. To do this, you could either follow their friend’s accounts directly or create a fake account to follow them from.
Step Three: Hire a Private Investigator
Still can’t work out where they are? It might be time to chat with a professional.
If an estranged family member doesn’t want contact (particularly if they’re social media streetwise) they will often go to lengths to hide or entirely remove their online presence. At this point of disappearance, a private investigator can help.
But should you hire a private investigator to find an estranged family member? Isn’t that going to extremes? Well, not if you consider that in cases of family estrangement where people choose to disappear they are actively making themselves hidden.
Should you dare to wonder how a private investigator can help you reconnect with estranged family, let us explain a tracing investigation:
-
Starting with the location where the person was last seen (both real life and digital), a private investigator will closely inspect details of their last recorded movements.
-
Using a global network of surveillance resources, they will track and trace where the person has gone.
-
After locating the estranged family member, the investigator will report back what information they have.
-
In some cases, you might want more information on the estranged before approaching them. For these instances, you can request the private investigator to uncover more of what you would like to know.
What Adult Children Want
As children become adults of the real world their character will also develop - and not just once. The connecting years between adolescence and adulthood are considerably fruitful for personal growth. After all, this time is called the “coming of age”.
So what changes when children become adults? What do they want now?
Studies have shown that many adult children share the desire to have a closer relationship with their parents. But it’s not only this loving and personal connection that they want. They also wish for a relationship that feels less critical.
Perhaps it’s the judgement that comes all too easily from loved ones that can drive us apart. Or instead, the inability to live up to expectations which creates low self-esteem that many end up blaming their parents for.
The main point is that however you take it/are affected, there still appears to be a want for connection. Perhaps all hope for reconciliation is not lost after all.
Searching for an Estranged Family Member?
If you’re among the many who are actively searching for their loved ones, there are two points to remember; one, take care of yourself, and two, get support.
It is possible during your search that you might find them... however it’s also possible that your communication will only separate you further apart. In case of this happening (and it does), you need to brace yourself for the unwanted outcomes.
But what if you simply want to know where they are, what they’re doing, and if they’re safe? If so, professional assistance is likely your next step - and don’t laugh at the thought!
Each year, thousands of people hire private investigators to help in their search for their estranged family. If you’re unsure of the idea of tracing investigations, don’t be afraid to contact an investigator to discuss the best options for you.
